May 5, 2010

Flowers---
pretty purple and yellow flowers...
Reminding me to breathe- and remember to be still and
see what gifts God has given for today.

I am certainly feeling overwhelmed, stressed and weighted down at the moment.
Too much to even make notation of. I am just unhappy with myself- how I look, how I feel, how my days look... Yes- they could be worse! Full of sickness and such, but I feel like I am just slipping away minute by minute.
When I see the bridal shower pictures and the ones that I am in-
ohh my!
It makes my stomach church.
My face is SO fat.
My belly is SO huge! I look like I have been pumped up and I am about to burst!
I feel that way too.
Yes..
I have lost 20 lbs. since last June...
yes- that is great.
but I still feel like poo!
I look awful...
I am SO stressed about being in Becky's wedding-
I just can't stand the thought of people staring at me as I walk down the isle...
ALL of the pictures!
ohh- this is just a nightmare.
The wedding is less than 60 days away.
I can't make 50 lbs. melt away that fast!
That would be a pound a day...
:D
fat chance?!?!
oops- bad pun there...

My thoughts are random- and my mood is unpredictable the past 2 weeks.
AIO is certainly 90% of that...
well...
somewhere in the % is Avery and his headache issues, cleaning and organizing the house,
AND money stress, teaching stress-sherrie and her issues and the stress surrounding that!-
Teyler will be a SENIOR....
:( :[ :*(
very overwhelmed! :/
Hopefully since tomorrow is Thursday-
I will feel better-
have a different outlook-
and see things in a new perspective.
One- that doesn't see ME as a hippo and tub o' lard causing disgust and nausea to everyone around me. 'Cuz I certainly cause it for myself.
uhhg-
~angie